Dirty Joke Classics Archive!
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Bar Room Dirty Jokes is our editors picks of popular jokes heard around local bars, pubs, disco clubs, dives and other popular drinking establishments the world over compiled one this one page for your convenience.

Adult Humor and other adult content can be found within these pages. You must 18 years of age or older to read and deliver these jokes to friends and or family.

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Most Jokes are "Not" That Dirty - Nothing Gross or Repulsive!

Your Ultimate Listings of Sleezy Bar Room Jokes!

Every adult bar room joke ever told is right here!

Q: What is long and green and smells like pig?
A: Kermits finger.

Q: What do dentures and the moon have in common?
A: They both come out at night.

Q: What is the first question OJ asked the prosecutors after he had heard the verdict?
A: Can I have my gloves back now?

Q: What do elephants use as tampons
A: Sheep!

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a computer?
A: A computer can take a 3 1/2 floppy.

Q: How do you escape from the inside of an elephant?
A: Run around until you get pooped out!

Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the sockets go with the house.

Q: How does a mail chauvinist change a light bulb?
A: "Let the bitch cook in the dark."

Q: Why doesn't mexico have an olympic team?
A: Because all the ones that can run, jump,or swim have already left the country.

Q: What does the hot dog say when he crosses the finish line?
A: "I'm the WEINER!!"

Q: What is the difference between a pigeon and a goat?
A: One mucks up fountains.

Q: What do you call a man with a seagul on his head?
A: Cliff
Q: What do you call a man with a car on his head?
A: Jack

Q: What does OJ stand for?
A: Orange Jumpsuit.

Q: Why did they get rid of OJ costumes?
A: Cuz the gloves dont fit.

Q: If you are an AMERICAN when you go into the bathroom and you are an AMERICAN when you come out of the bathroom....What are you WHILE you are in the bathroom?
A: EUROPEAN

Q: How many seconds are there in a year?
A: 12 .... (Jan 2, Feb 2, Mar 2 .... etc.)

Q: What did George Washington say to his men before they got into the boat to cross the Potomac River?
A: Men .... get in the boat.

Q: What do are those little bumps around a woman's nipple?
A: Braille Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!

Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: Tame way, unique up on it!

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick.

Q: Why won't a shark eat a lawyer?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: How is a lawyer different from hooker?
A: There are just some things a hooker won't do.

Q:What gets wetter and wetter as it drys?
A: A towel.

Q: What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca with Count Dracula?
A: autoexec.bat

Q: why is a woman like a parking space?
A: because all the good ones are taken, the only free ones are handicapped, and once you get one you have to keep feeding money into it.

Q: Why did the woman cross the Road?
A: Who cares why wasn't she in the kitchen.

Q: One day an Indian chief drank 12 gallons of tea. The next day they found him drowned in his teapee.

Q: What does an Englishwoman say to her husband when she wakes up after a night of lovemaking?
A: "Get off!"

Q: How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike?
A: They both have ornamental balls.

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: What's the best way to eat a frog?
A: Hook one leg over each ear.

Q: How many seconds are there in a day?
A: That depends. How good were you the first time?

Q: What did the leper say to the prostitute?
A: Keep the tip.

Q: What animal should you never play cards with?
A: Cheetah!

Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist looks up the family tree... And the gynecologist looks up the family bush.

Q: What do you get when you cross a yeast infection and an achy breaky heart?
A: An itchy twichy crotch.

Q:Why are there locks on bathroom doors in the Soviet union?
A: So people don't Russian when European.

Q: What did the math mermaid wear?
A: An algebra.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A: Elephino.

Q: What do you get when you cross a potato and a penis?
A: a dictator.

Q: Do you know why they acquitted O.J. when they did?
A: Thanksgiving was just around the corner and he was the only one in the family who knew how to cut up the white meat.

Q: Why does Scots wear kilts?
A: Because the sheep can hear the zipper miles away.

Q: WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU FIND AN EPILEPTIC IN YOUR SWIMMING POOL?
A: THROW IN A LOAD OF WASH !

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A VEGATERIAN WITH DIAREEHA?
A: A SALAD SHOOTER !

Q: Why was John Elway being questioned in the O.J Simpson trial?
A: Because they were talking about a Slow, White, Bronco.

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